Well, it’s been a little while since my last post–longer than I intended. I’m often amazed at how busy I feel despite not having a regular job anymore. Like what do I do all day? Enough excuses.
It’s been just over three months since I quit my full-time job and switched to part-time work, and it’s been a little over a month since I left the workforce altogether. And I have to admit that I am much happier now, staying at home, than I have ever been.
And yet, I’m still adjusting. I still don’t feel like I’ve quite got the hang of it. I often feel like my days should be more structured, like I should be accomplishing more, like I’m not giving my son enough attention despite being with him all day. These are the things that make me doubt– that allow the feelings of inadequacy to start to creep in. I may not have a boss in the traditional sense– I’m my own boss these days. And lately I think I may be the worst boss I’ve ever had to work for. I expect so much of myself (and pay too little, if you ask me), but I rarely provide myself with clear direction.
In other words, I think I need to set better goals for myself– short and long term goals, but always realistic and attainable. And just like any new job has a training or probationary period, I need to allow myself time to learn and develop those homemaking skills. Mastery isn’t going to come overnight. In the meantime, I’ll be doing my best to not kill the plants or pets, lose track of my son, or set the house on fire. Hopefully I’ll get a little better at this every day.